i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
