How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
