Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
