I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
