this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
