we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
