some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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