Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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