i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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