Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
