dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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