Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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