I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
