How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
