Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
