Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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