Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
