wanna go halves on a baby?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
