so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
