I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
