At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
