there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
