Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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