make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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