i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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