no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
