I smell stomach acid.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My liver just had a heart attack.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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