I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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