do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Even my vagina gasped.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You made out with two different species that night
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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