Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
