Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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