Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
They have beer where we have blood.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
