Soap is not a condiment
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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