I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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