people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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