Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
