the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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