There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
