I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
