Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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