Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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