New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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