Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
