the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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