So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
