brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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