There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize