He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
