I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
