i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
