Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
