After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
