Yo dont text me then not text me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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