the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
