Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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