North Korea, Best Korea!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
