He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize