That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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