I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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