I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
