Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
